Please Don't Spoil The Movie
Please Don't Spoil The Movie
"A Good Reporter Is Always On The Job." - Get A Clue
Hello 2026, and Welcome back to Please Don’t Spoil The Movie Podcast. In this episode, we spoil the 2002 mystery Disney Channel Original Movie starring Lindsay Lohan and Brenda Song. High school gossip columnist Lexy sets in motion a series of events when she publishes an article about her two teachers dating. After her teacher goes missing, with the help of her friends, they set out to solve the mystery. Tune in to hear us discuss Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Eternity, and X Files.
Please don't spoil the movie by adding your own soundtrack.
SPEAKER_02:Hello. My name was Obi-Wan Kenobi.
SPEAKER_03:My name is Gertie Giggles.
unknown:Woo!
SPEAKER_02:And welcome back to Please Don't Does it.
SPEAKER_03:Please don't spoil the movie. That's a good name. Good choice. Thank you. It just came to me. Keep does laugh. That's a no. You can't do it either. I just did it perfectly. Okay, stop because it's really making me uncomfortable when you do it.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, I killed it. I said you have the biggest crush on him when I was little. It's so cool. But clearly the bad guy. Girl.
SPEAKER_03:Everyone loves the bad guy. The bad boy. Absolutely. How are you? Okay. How are you and your husband?
SPEAKER_05:Nice. He's the most non-bad boy ever.
SPEAKER_02:I know. But um, me and my country, my country gal, pal, guy, we're fine.
SPEAKER_04:That's so weird. He's my husband.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_02:Jesus.
SPEAKER_03:It's insane. Imagine when I start having it. Imagine when I tell y'all I'm pregnant. Please stop. Oh my god, I'm dreading. Part of me just wants to do the TikTok where you just like call somebody and just like, they're like, Whose baby is that? Like, that's baby. Whose baby is that? Is that? It's like it's mine. And also see this TikTok where it's like a husband and wife. They just walk through the house and everyone's like, Who's this baby? They're like, I was pregnant. That one's funny. But I don't think that's possible. Yeah, let's not do that. Let's not have that happen. Yeah. No, by what? So what else is going on? What's new? What's up?
SPEAKER_04:What's slowly just sit? I think it's Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
SPEAKER_01:Didn't know you were watching it.
SPEAKER_04:What?
SPEAKER_03:Did I not talk about this every chance I get? I'm pretty sure I told you. So I was watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, which is Buffy Vampire Slayer, Spinoff, and Supernatural. Those are the shows I've been watching.
SPEAKER_01:I recall something. I'm I can't remember ending.
SPEAKER_05:Got hearts of feelings, but whatever. It's like a real, it's a real big part of my character right now.
SPEAKER_03:Those three shows. Serious. But yeah, just finished it. What a great series. I think you should watch it. I think you will love it. I think if I think Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I it's gonna be the new show I recognize everyone who hasn't seen it. I'm like, you have to watch Buffy.
SPEAKER_05:If anyone needs a new show, watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
SPEAKER_03:What is it on?
SPEAKER_05:Oh Hulu.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, who's the who's Buffy? Is it Sarah Michelle Geller or is it some other chick? It's Sarah. Oh, the movie is somebody else. Oh yeah, the yeah, the movie is somebody else. Which one was first? The show or the movie? Let's see. I knew you wouldn't know. You don't know your history. You don't know your facts. So the sh the the film came out in 1992 and Buffy started 95.
SPEAKER_04:97.
SPEAKER_01:Damn it.
SPEAKER_04:Surprised it went in that order.
SPEAKER_01:Right. That's a large age gap.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. But really good show. Great. Is it a book? I think so. Book. Let's see.
SPEAKER_03:It appears to be a book. Yeah, book series. Long book series. Jesus. How many books? I'm seeing Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Harvest, The Angel Chronicles. So I guess even the books, they have like a spin-off. They have Xander's. Xander gets a book. He's a character on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The Willow Files. She gets like two volumes. Faith, which is another slayer. Cordilla. So fuck. There's a lot of break-offs, the chosen one. Let's see. It seems like a lot of everyone gets a little character in the book.
SPEAKER_01:There's a lot of spin-off options.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Mm-hmm. And one show did become a spin-off. It's really good. And then one more season left of Angel.
SPEAKER_06:I'd be so sad to be done. Um, it's a vampire.
SPEAKER_03:He was like Buffy's boyfriend. He got his own spin-off, basically.
SPEAKER_05:Oh, so this is his show.
SPEAKER_03:Yes. Yeah. His name is Angel, and the show's called Angel. But you know, it's it's a guy from Bones. Uh that's what the show is. Uh yeah, yeah, yeah. That the main character. He did a lot of TV shows. I had to look up the other day. I was like, how many shows was this man on? I think he just stopped like a couple years ago and he's like, my body is tired. Because he did 12 seasons in Bones. He did Angel. I was like, when did you have a break? I guess he didn't. He didn't. He got the money flowing. He did, he doesn't. He should, he should he comes from an old the old TV show where they got residuals. It was it was rolling dough. I know Buffy had had that money, had that cash.
SPEAKER_04:What's wrong with you?
SPEAKER_03:Um nothing much. I saw Eternity the other night with mom. Give me a clue that you claim you didn't know what it was. I think it's crazy.
SPEAKER_02:Never been. How is it?
SPEAKER_03:You haven't seen anything promoting eternity.
SPEAKER_02:If it's not the biggest box office of the year, I have never seen the commercial.
SPEAKER_03:Because I just they don't they don't show the this one I've been seeing. Never seen it. What's it about? I see a woman with two men on her right. So it's a love triangle. Am I guessing correctly? You already, I'm sure. You already looked it up when I told you. No, I didn't. Okay, so what it's about is about this woman, and she dies. And she has to decide who she wants to spend the rest of the rest of her eternity with. Her first husband, who died in the war, and they're probably only married for like five seconds. What war? Like the modern war? Right, which war? That was a big that was a big part of his storyline. The Korean war. How old is this lady? What? Okay. She dies when she's like 80.
SPEAKER_07:Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So when she dies, so she dies when she's like 80. But when she goes, you know, to heaven, you're like your best favorite self. So she's young. Because I'm looking at this lady, I'm like, um, what's this math? Okay, gotcha. So the whole thing is that you die, like when you die and you go to like heaven eternity, whatever, you are in the form of when you were the most happiest. So that's why they're young. Okay, so she has to decide if she wants to marry the her first husband, who she married when she was young, and he died in the Korean War. They didn't really say how long they were married for. But then she uh remarries like two fucking years later, and she spends like, you know, her entire like life with this guy.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Um, who like they were very like an argumentative couple. So it's it's about who So when she gets to Heaven, they're both there and they've both been waiting for her. So so I'm assuming I hope it's not a spoiler, the other man died too. So both are there. Yeah. Okay, so how so it's how it's set up. Uh-huh. So, okay. We're when the movie starts, we're introduced to the the girl. I don't remember. Her name's Joan, I think. And then the husband, her second husband, his name's Larry. So they're like 80 years old. They're like, you know, an old married couple that argues. They're going to this party. She has terminal cancer. Uh-huh. Okay. They're going to this party. She has terminal cancer. At the party, however, Larry, the husband, he's like, eats a peanut, chokes, and dies. So he dies first. Um. So he dies first. He's hanging around there trying to get shit figured out. And then a couple of months later, then she dies. Oh, okay. It's just a peanut. Oh, he choked. Well, sorry. Yeah, he likes chokes and dies. I was like, he forgot that. And then so when she gets to eternity, she sees Larry, but then she sees the other guy who's been waiting for him for 67 years. So now she has to decide who she wants to spend the rest of eternity with. But then also the eternity that you pick, it's like you can't go back. Like, this is it.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_03:They're like themes. It's like a beach theme, mountains, art, Paris, you know, there's like different eternities. I love that. Yes. So I see it's 824, which I love. Was it did they have some comedy in there? I see it's called a romantic comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_04:Did you like it without spoiling anything?
SPEAKER_03:Um, I uh didn't. So, okay, you know how like a lot of movies when they have like this love triangle and a girl has to pick between two guys, they're always kind of identify as like a clear winner. Yeah. Like in Bridget Jones' diary, like we obviously know she's gonna end up with the the fucking the one who's not Hugh Grant. The dick. Right. Yeah. Like we know she's gonna end up with the one who isn't Hugh Grant. Like it's obvious. So it's just like it's not this wasn't like that. Like I thought like one of them was gonna be like, oh, like, oh, she's clearly not gonna pick him because he's a dick or something. Like it wasn't one of that. I was like, who the fuck is she gonna? I was like, who the fuck is she gonna pick? And then to the middle, in the middle they started losing me. I was like, all right, y'all losing me. But they picked the backup at the end.
SPEAKER_04:It's not one of those things where it ends before she picks somebody, is it?
SPEAKER_03:See, what I thought was I thought going into it, I was like, she's not gonna pick either of them. I was like, she's not gonna do it. She's just not gonna pick either. I really thought that was gonna happen, but she does, she does end up picking one.
SPEAKER_02:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:Did mom like it? Mom fell asleep. Okay, so 50-50, there. That would really that'll really seal the thing. Mom said when we were uh leaving on the way home, she's like, they're gonna have to write you a thank you letter. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? She's like, the people who made that movie. I was like, why? Because you're the only one who went there and saw it. I was like, oh my goodness. It wasn't that bad. She was like, this is gonna be on prime video in two fucking days. She's like, we could have stayed home for this. I was like, all right. So does that mean she didn't like it? She was just tired. What was that being tired? Well, she fell asleep. I guess she was saying it wasn't worth going all the way over to Elmwood to go see. But I needed to go see it. I thought it was important to go see it because I'm tired of seeing fucking Marvel end game, beginning game, half game, start game, sad game. I just give me a romance. Give me a romantic comedy. Let's go back to the original formula. Bring me back to 1999 where y'all cranking them bitches out. So that's why I made a point to go see this one.
SPEAKER_05:Perfect.
SPEAKER_03:Because if this one doesn't do well, who's to say they're gonna make more?
SPEAKER_05:Right. I trust 824.
SPEAKER_03:I think they're gonna hold it down for us. But um, you're not gonna ask me which guy she chooses? No, I don't want you to spoil it. You didn't even know what the movie was until yesterday.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, when I'm invested.
SPEAKER_05:And obviously she chooses the guy that don't tell me.
SPEAKER_03:You're gonna ruin it for me. Were you shocked by the like were you shocked? You guessed? When when I said when they got to the middle, I was like, where are we going with this? But I didn't really know where that's why they started losing me. I was like, where are we going with this fucking storyline? But they cleaned it up, they cleaned it up, they cleaned it up, cleaned it up. And they were both so fucking cute. I was like, oh my god, they're both so adorable. And do they know they're both competing for her love? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are they is it like what they're like so the one who is married to her for like 70 years? Yeah, he meets the the other husband who's been waiting for her the whole time since he died. He didn't know that that was him though.
SPEAKER_06:Oh, they like besties.
SPEAKER_03:And then so when so then when she gets there, he's like, What? So when she arrives, he's like, What the fuck are you? This is my bitch. Like, what are you doing here? Do they tell they like are they trying to convince her through like memories? Are they she like memories or something, like pick me? Um, I don't. I mean, I guess this isn't spoiling too much. She gets to spend like she gets to have like a trial run of an eternity test with both of them. Okay, cool. Um so then the black girl who's in there, uh well, you haven't seen the commercial, so you probably haven't seen her. Okay. I forgot her name.
SPEAKER_04:I'll look it up here. Um oh, um, Divine Joy Rudolph.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, her. She like plays. I mean, I guess you could say she's an equivalent of like an angel. I don't fucking know. So she's like Larry's angel. So that's the that's the second husband. She's like his like coordinator.
SPEAKER_07:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03:And then there's this guy, this white guy, who's like the first husband's like coordinator. So like the black girl's trying to convince the girl to be with Larry and the gay guy's trying to convince the wife to be with. I think his name was Luke.
SPEAKER_07:Luke. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03:Now, if I don't if she don't choose me, what did what that mean for me? I gotta spend by myself.
SPEAKER_04:What does that mean for me? Yeah. Dang it. I don't like that. I feel like it shouldn't matter. I feel like I wish to get both of them in my life.
SPEAKER_03:Right? I was like, why can't we just all go to the same eternity? Right. I don't want to be neighbors. Silly. Silly movie. Let's go one to ten dax you that already? What did you think? So can't remember.
SPEAKER_01:I would give it a uh seven. Okay, seven out of ten.
SPEAKER_02:Did you cry? No.
SPEAKER_03:I think I did get a little teary out at one part. Did like a tear. I've been I've been crying a lot lately. I don't know what the fuck that's well. If mom's right, I should be watching it on Prime TV or whatever the f the hell. I think she was she fell clean asleep. I said, Don't you dare ask me who she is once you wake up.
SPEAKER_07:She's funny for that.
SPEAKER_04:But yeah. Did you see anything else lately?
SPEAKER_03:Um. Well, the same girl who's in this movie, she was in that show that me and mom watch about that lady who murdered her uh neighbor. She's in she plays the same candy. Yeah, Candy. Saw that. You didn't like it, but Oh, I liked it. I just didn't like the way her story ended. Well, you like to go to jail. Well, the show, what was it called? Like Love and Death or something? Whatever. They told it from her perspective. Well, that's the only perspective that we have because she killed the other lady. She did. She did. But from her perspective, shit, it was self-defense. Uh-huh. Yeah, but it is. Because if I if I kill somebody, from my perspective is gonna be self-defense too.
SPEAKER_02:I don't know where she brought that axe up in here.
SPEAKER_03:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_02:It was called Lemon Daddy, right?
SPEAKER_04:Also Wanda Bruce. She's killing it. What's her number is? She might not allow shit.
SPEAKER_03:You know, she is Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen's sister. What? Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_02:That is crazy. Elizabeth Olsen. Okay.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:I see they will also she can run, honey, because she's she's killing it.
SPEAKER_03:Right. I've never that's so weird.
SPEAKER_05:What if she's like, yeah, I don't really I really don't talk to them. Are they friends?
SPEAKER_03:I know, right? What's her relationship?
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, like nah, they locked in. They don't really, they really deal with outsiders.
SPEAKER_03:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_02:Interesting. Um, also another show I've I started was I've started um The X-Files and I'm locked in.
SPEAKER_07:Oh, okay. Locked and Hulu as well.
SPEAKER_03:And now I believe in every conspiracy. Throwing me a conspiracy, you say it, you lay it out for me, I'm gonna believe it. I'm locked in. Oh, okay. Is that what the show's about? Conspiracy theories? Yeah, so like the X-File, he like works for the FBI, but he works for the X-Files section sector, which is like like things that can't be explained or whatever, like aliens and like vampires, or like just like weird stuff that happens that they're like, just give it to X-Files. But yeah. And what's his what's the point of even working for that department? Is he supposed to crack the case? Right. You know, it's kind of like annoying because like he's never gonna get like his right. Exactly. Even at so we at the we as the viewer for most of the time, we know the full story, but he's never given the full story. And if he does know the full story, it's not like they're gonna write down he was this kind of weird worm alien thing that he was a werewolf, and that's what happened. Right. He's never reported on that. But the reason why he does it is because when he was little, his his sips, his sister was abducted by aliens. That's the story so far, at least. So he's like trying to like get answers about his sister. His main his the main thing he wants to know about is aliens. Well, I don't hate when show, but I feel like 90 shows always do this. There's a greater story in the background, and then each episode is a different story. Didn't you say it on your TikTok? Yes. So like a lot of people were saying, yeah, in the beginning, it's a lot of like, but I like it like that. But each so each episode so far is a case, and like there's a bigger thing in the background.
SPEAKER_05:Um, but like each in the beginning, each episode is kind of like a new monster of the week, is what they were calling it.
SPEAKER_03:But um, but he's like trying to his main thing is to figure out aliens, but also like the FBI is kind of low-key corrupted too, and they he's like working against like some a some people in the agency want the exiles to close ex-files to close, some people in the agency want the truth to come out. Like some people are like you know, gunning for his head. It's just like um it's interesting, but I'm just like, why don't you just tell them about the aliens? It's good, it's good.
SPEAKER_04:Scully and uh um Mulder. Can't wait for them to c can't wait for them to get together.
SPEAKER_01:So cute, whatever that means.
SPEAKER_04:There's two main characters, they work together. Oh it's a boy and a girl.
SPEAKER_01:They're in love.
SPEAKER_04:No, not yet.
SPEAKER_05:They're just co-workers. I'm just like, oh I can't wait.
SPEAKER_03:Speaking of co-workers getting together, think journalism. Think high school newspaper. Think the editor-in-chief of the newspaper who hates the girl who writes about the gossip column. Think high school teacher goes missing. Think romantic forbidden love affair between teacher and teacher. Think embezzle. Embezzle. Think fraud, think framing, think blackmail, think stolen identity. Think we gotta get down to the bottom of this. Think the New York Times and other New York related publications. Think fashion. Fashion. Think a young Brenda song.
SPEAKER_04:Say that again.
SPEAKER_03:Think a young Brenda song. Drum rubblies! And that brings us to drum rubblings. Get a clue. Get a clue. There's nothing. Oh, what's it?
SPEAKER_06:What a great song.
SPEAKER_03:Haven't seen this movie in years. I was watching this recently and I don't remember why or what it was. Was on to where I was sitting there watching it, but it happened. Um, summary Lexi Gold played by Lindsay Lohan. Remember, this is the house that was built.
SPEAKER_02:This is the house that Lindsay Lohan built, honey.
SPEAKER_03:This is the house that she built. Period. I did. Lexigold, played by Lindsay Lohan, is a wealthy and fashion-obsessed teenager who writes a gossip column for her Manhattan preparatory school. When her English teacher mysteriously disappears, I don't know if he's her English teacher. Um I don't know how that got there. When her English teacher mysteriously disappears after she publishes a photograph of him in the newspaper, Lexi teams up with her friends and a rival student journalist to solve the mystery. As they navigate the streets of New York Times New York City. The group uncovers a complex conspiracy involving a long-lost fortune and a hidden criminal identity. Oh yeah. The film is a 2002 American mystery comedy written by Elena Bargi Senko and directed by Maggie Greenwald. The film was released as a Disney Channel original movie. Also known as and was primarily primarily filmed in Toronto, um, Canada, of course. It's where they go for everything. That's funny. Um, with some of the exterior scenes filmed on location in Manhattan. Um Millington Prep, the school that they attend, um, was filmed at Bishop Scratching Scratching School in Toronto. Um production began in May 2001, and the script was still unfinished by the time filming had begun. A well-concealed reshoot took place in late 2001 to film a different ending for the film. Okay, concluding that the villain in the film was Meanie. In the original ending, however, the villain turned out to be Mrs. Stern.
SPEAKER_07:I don't think so.
SPEAKER_03:The end I'll just say it. Oh, the woman did it. That would have been too serious. That would have been too much. Why? It'd be like she killed him because she loved him. It's like, well, that's not introduce that story to children's story. Well, he wouldn't have died in the the he still would have lived. He she'd have just been the villain. Villain how? I don't know. It said she'd have like in the alternate ending, she knew him when he was in Arizona.
SPEAKER_05:That's stupid. That doesn't make any sense.
SPEAKER_03:Miss Stern is the black teacher who will call her.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, that doesn't make any sense because he would have known that she knew her. I've seen his bitch a mile away.
SPEAKER_03:Well, they say, well, it worked. Because the ending was shown on the DVD um release, though the viewer had the option to watch either ending with the movie when the movie reaches 61 minutes with Mrs. Stern's ending shown in a different aspect ratio than the rest of the movie. Like a pick your destiny type shit. You want to put your brain this. I've gotta I've gotta get my hands on this DVD now. I know a song by the Canadian band Prozac. Um with the song titled Get a Clue. Get a Clue in the film. It's not a Canada. Sorry. Thank you. And the music video was regularly shown on the Disney Channel at the time of the film's release. The name of the band was later changed to Simon and Milo, so their band name would not be associated with drugs. Wait, sorry, what was her band name originally? Prozac.
SPEAKER_07:That's funny. Yes.
SPEAKER_03:This marked the final film Lindsay Lohan starred in under her original. Original. I don't remember this being a thing, but I guess it was. In her original three-movie contract with Disney, which included the Parent Trap, Life Size, and Get a Clue. Got it. Um, obviously, this is a Disney channel movie, so there is no box office, but um, Wikipedia did offer me a budget if you want to guess it. One million. Oh my goodness. I think this is the first time you've actually guessed it right on the nose. Granted, it wasn't a hard one, but yes.
SPEAKER_07:It wasn't.
SPEAKER_03:It wasn't hard at all. And let me go through the cast. Lindsay Lohan as Alexandria Lexi Gold, a teenage amateur journalist. Bug Hall as Jake. Jack. I don't fucking know. Jack. When I see Jack and Jake, I can't differentiate Jack. Jake. Jake Downey, editor of the school newspaper. Ian Gomez as Nicholas Petrosian or Mr. Orlando Walker, one of Lexi's teachers, who the one who goes missing. Um, Brenda Sung as Jennifer Jen Harvey, Lexi's fashion conscious best friend. Ali McDam as Gabe, amateur photographer. Dan Lett as Frank Gold, Lexi's father, a journalist with the New York Times. Amanda Plummer as Miss Dawson, a teenager who is in love, a teenager, a teacher who is in love with Mr. Walker, Charlie Ooh Shnesse as Detective Charles Meany, slash Granville, the main antagonist of the film. Spoiler. Um the guy from uh from The Nanny.
SPEAKER_04:Also Mom's Gonna Dave with the Vampire.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Who's his Mr. Sheffield? That's his name. Mr. Sheffield. I almost said Daddy Warbox. I don't know why. Mr. Taddy Bobbox. Um Kim Roberts is Mrs. Stern. And where's the sister in it there? Jennifer Pishani as Taylor Gold, Lexi's Tech Savvy Little Sister. There we go.
SPEAKER_04:Alright.
SPEAKER_03:And before we begin, don't forget to rate, subscribe, remember, tell your friends, tell your best friends. Let us know if you like the podcast or not. Um privately and with very nice words. So, welcome to get a clue. In this movie, the movie begins in the beautiful home of Lexi. What's her last name? Gold. Gold.
SPEAKER_02:And she's got money, honey. She wakes up.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, did you notice? I'm noticing with her the name, like the last names. But no, like everyone's like, okay, like her last name is Gold. She's rich. The guy who's Detective Meanie. He was mean. Miss Stern. She was a black lady. Then the the politician. That storyline was so fucking pointless to me. I was like, why is this in here? I want it. Let's let's get the fucking. The homeless politician. His name was something, something. Last name was I care. Because he cared about what he was doing. I was like, wait a minute, who wrote this shit? Maybe the guy. You know, like, remember in like school when we used to like learn reading comprehension or like the the subliminal messaging? Maybe they were trying to like put that on us. Right. His name was like Dan I care. I was like, are you so? That's so funny.
SPEAKER_02:So yeah. Oh my god. That's funny. That's funny. That's funny.
SPEAKER_07:What's the detective's name?
SPEAKER_03:So the movie starts. Yes. We're in Manhattan. We're in her Lexi Gold's Upper East Side apartment. They have the whole floor. She's in her room. She's waking up for school. She calls her best friend Jen.
SPEAKER_05:It's giving like the beginning of Clueless, like that kind of vibe. Fabulous.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, but instead of being in Beverly Hills, we're on the Upper East Side. She calls her best friend Jen to consult on what they're gonna wear to school. Jen picks out her outfit, fabulous. Lexi puts out her outfit, even more fabulous. And they're on the way to their Upper East Side prep school. This movie? Everyone else is fabulous.
SPEAKER_04:Do you think this movie was campy? Camp adjacent. Camp adjacent, like child campy.
SPEAKER_03:I was like, this is like a child's camp. Yeah, because I was like, are we here? Is a plot or is it fashion? I was fucked with the fashion. But I was like, the fashion is they fashion killed us over here. Yeah, truly. Honestly. So after they have their outfits picked, Lexi joins her family down for br oh, not brunch, Jesus, brushes. Oh, sorry. And at the table, we meet Lexi's sister, whose name is Jennifer? No. Oh, yeah, sorry. Taylor. Taylor is like a spy tech geek. She's at the table with these like these spy glasses that remind me when I was younger I wanted to be a spy. And I always remember when I was little, Axad, I'm sure I told the story. Ax dad, are spy kids real? He told me no. And we've been beefing ever since I think he crushed my dreams. But fucking love. I remember you telling that story, but I don't know why. I thought you said you asked him if Santa Claus was real. No, I asked him if spy kids were real. And he thought about it for a second. I remember so he said no.
SPEAKER_01:He thought about it for a second, and then he said no.
SPEAKER_03:Well, I wanted to be a spy. And that that was the first time my dreams were crushed, and I became an accountant. Right. He should have said yeah. And I'd have been an FBI agent. Could have worked for the CIA. Oh, fucking accountant. In the X-Files division. Exactly. Exactly. Jesus. But um that is what Lexi's sister Taylor is on the road to be. Um, also there's her mother who's important. She they don't really talk about lady much. We never see her ever again. Important in the business world is what I meant, not in the movie, because she goes off, she goes off to some business, and her dad is a journalist. Um they're clearly rich. They have a um not a butler, but a maid, I guess. Yeah, a maid, a house. A female equivalent of a butler. Yes, a house a housewoman that takes care of their things. Biggest topic at um brunch, breakfast, is that Lexi's a news article is posted in the um The Daily Examiner, which is huge. Yes, no one knew about it. Unbeknownst to her. She had no idea. Her dad's looking at the paper and he's like, Lexi, this is your article in the paper. And she's like, What? No idea. She's like, Oh my god, I submitted this junior article weeks ago. I didn't know they picked me. Which is crazy. Um, tell the bitch. Right. Let me know. And the article is about. So she wrote this article about Mr.
SPEAKER_06:What is the arco about? I don't know.
SPEAKER_03:Walker. Well, it's a love, it's she really had no business writing this to begin with. Because the article is about the affair that her teachers are having together. That's what it's about. Well, I think she she uses the word friendship. Okay. But see, I guess it's not fair because none of them are cheating on each other. It's just weird. Like, my two teachers are dating. What did why why would y'all choose this one? What would what did everybody else write about? Right. This is the best one. I just don't understand. In my head, I'm like, okay, so it it's a picture of Mr. Walker, her English teacher, and Mrs. Dawson. They're like standing on a staircase. Um, I guess chit-chatting, but for whatever reason, I don't I just don't understand what's in the article. That was so interesting. What could she possibly be written about? Is what I want to know. Because it was it was gossip, as her little sister said. So the dad's like, this is so great, this is awesome. She's like, oh my god, yeah, I love this. And he describes it as a human interest piece. Yeah. And her little sister Taylor's like, this is fucking gossip. She's like, it's not gossip, it's it's a human interest. She's like, gossip.
SPEAKER_05:Whatever.
SPEAKER_03:Um, which it is. Because, bitch, why are you lurking on your teacher? She even used her sister's camera to snag the pick. But nonetheless, she goes to school. She arrives at school, everyone's raving about her article. They're like, oh my god, Lexi, you're so cool. The Daily Examiner, today, tomorrow, the post. Oh my god, Lexi, Mr. Orlando, and Miss Dawson. This is crazy. Lexi, Lexi, Lexi, Lexi. Talk of the town. So then as she's walking through the hallway and she's receiving her praises, she runs into Orlando Walker, her teacher. And Jack, Jake, Jake, Jack, Jack. Jack, who is the editor of their high school newspaper. He's the editor-in-chief. They're walking out of a classroom together. And she's like, Oh, hey, Mr. Walker. Mr. Walker's like, hey, bitch, I seen that uh paper that you wrote about me. He's honestly not as upset as he should be. He's not as upset as he should be. He's like, oh, he's got other problems. Yes. And then um She should be she should be sent to the principal. I don't know. Right. She should have been reprimanded for that. Yeah. Like, hey, he can't just invade people's lives and post about it and then say then, how do you know you're not getting them in trouble? Because I'm sure there's probably a policy that they either have to disclose their relationship, and if they don't, you know, that's an HR violation. Or there's probably a policy where they can't fucking date each other. Or they both can have partners and you just don't know about it. And now you just blew their spot up. They don't, but ever happened to I'm not a celebrity, I'm a teacher. I didn't ask for this. Right. She should have been expelled, not praised, but nonetheless. So he Mr. Walker is like, hello, Lexi. Then he walks away. Jake, Jack, whatever the fuck his name is. He sticks around and he's like, saw your article in the paper. And she's like, oh yeah. What'd you think of it? And he's like, it was a gossip piece. She's like, it's not gossip. And he's like, whatever. Mind you, he was being nice about it. He wasn't being shady, I don't think, at first. I don't think he was being shady. Well, he later gets shady. Shady. But I think he's being genuine. Um, so then we run into Brony Song. I don't know if they should chuck. Also, before um Mr. Walker gets pulled away because Miss Stern. Which I always thought Miss Stern was the principal, but she's just like she yeah. Admissions offer. I always thought she was she was the principal. She's the admissions officer. Officer, yes. But she um she pulls Mr. Walker away because she wants to have a conversation with him. He looks like he's in trouble. I just always thought he I thought always thought he was a principal, and I always thought he was getting in trouble because of the article. Right that's just not the case. She's just she just wants to have a serious conversation about him. And and Miss Stern is Stern. Just a stern. And then we call it, please don't spoil the movie. But I never got, I never paid attention to the fact that she had a crush with him. Never, never paid attention to the fact that he had a crush on her. She had a crush on her. Because they don't even never notice. What do you want from him, Miss Stern? Stop playing.
SPEAKER_02:That is not your type. Stop playing.
SPEAKER_03:Y'all not each other's like, knock it off.
SPEAKER_02:Knock it off.
SPEAKER_03:She can't handle you. And then she wants to do with all that woman. And she walks down the hallway hitting that like paper in her hand. Just thought she was the principal. Probably she's not the principal.
SPEAKER_05:Right. So crazy.
SPEAKER_03:But yes. So fast forward, um, Lexi is now in, I don't know what they call it, newspaper class. Yeah, the journalism room. The the editing room. Is it class? Whatever. It's my big class, huh? Yeah. Wherever the newspaper team meets, they're in there. Um, she's chit-chatting with Jen slash Brenda Song. She's talking about her. So she also writes for the school newspaper. She writes an advice column. She's talking about her advice column. She's bragging to Jen. She's like, what would people in the school do without me? Live. But she's, you know, giving herself her props. And then now it's time for the big newspaper meeting. Mr., what the fuck is his name?
SPEAKER_04:Goldbloom.
SPEAKER_03:Goldblum, who is like the advisor for the school paper. He's like, gives, makes an announcement, you know, hello, class, everyone. Our very own Lexi Gold, her own article that she submitted, made it into the Daily Examiner, which is a New York publication. Let's give her a round of applause. Congratulations, Lexi. Clap, clap, clap.
SPEAKER_00:Everyone's giving Lexi her flowers. Now, Mr. Goldblum is like, and now we will hear from our editor-in-chief, Jack, Jake, whatever his name is.
SPEAKER_03:So now, um, Mr. Goldblum is like, now we will hear from our editor-in-chief, Jack, Jake, whatever the fuck his name is. And unbeknownst to him, he didn't know he was going to be speaking on this, but he's like, um, yeah, sure. Really great when one of our own makes it into a publication. Even if it's like on something soft. So he shades the shit out of her. Well, and that's what they want. So Lindsay and Brindisong slash Jen are both offended.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, as it should be.
SPEAKER_03:But the attention quickly gets brought back to her, and she's all fine because everyone's clapping for her anyway, because they love her. So after this school paper meeting, um, Lexi is going about her day. She's going up the stairs, but she is stopped when she sees Mr. Walker and Mr. Walker and Mrs. Dawson talking, and they're talking um passionately, aggressively. And basically, Mr. Walker is breaking up with Miss Dawson, and she's upset about it. He's not giving any of it. But he doesn't know why. It's out of nowhere. They're they're doing great. Also, what the fuck is wrong with her? I do not like her vibe. She seems off. Am I tripping? Did her personality bother you? She not not until the end, really. She didn't seem off here. Well, she is a little weird. She's weird. She's strange. But don't like her personality. When I was younger watching it, I thought she was fucking strange. Yeah, she's strange. Anyway, um, she's upset. And the last thing she says to him, she's like, um, I'm sorry I ever met you, but just so you know, not both of us is gonna be able to work at this school. One of us is gonna have to go. Which is a crazy thing to say. She's like, if you think I'm gonna be passing these halls in Middleton and looking at your ass, you are sadly mistaken. One of us will not be staying here, and it surely will not be me. So you gotta move. I didn't know she had it in her. Okay, girl. Right. Um, she walks off and she runs into Lexi. Lexi pretends like she didn't hear. Also, who was hearing, listening on this was Jack. Um, but after school, Lexi's back at her home. She's typing up some gossip column stuff. Oh, yeah, she's talking to her dad. And she's getting ready for bed, and her dad compliments her um, you know, on the article. And then she, I think she expresses concern about like, hey, do do these articles like you ever written an article and like something happened after? And he's like, Well, yeah, that's kind of the whole point. Like, you want your article to, you know, cause some change. And in her mind, she means like, okay, this article's out, and now these two are broken. Like, have I fucked up their relationship? What have I done?
SPEAKER_02:What's the snowball effect of all this?
SPEAKER_03:Um, and he basically just kind of tells her what it takes to be a good journalist. And you know, you start off small, but then you work your way up, and you know, you'd be surprised where a little hard work, luck, and determination gets you. And that's his parting ways with her for the night, and she goes off to bed.
SPEAKER_05:Boom. Next morning, we see a scene, cars getting fished out of a river.
SPEAKER_03:We pan the craziest looking detective in this world. Jade, I bust out laughing. Crazy mustache. I bust out laughing. This is what this is when I decided this movie was can't be because of that mustache. It's like a mustache. I don't know what kind of mustache it is, but it's like one of those where you like it's like the ones that like you curl at the end. The truth is you curl. You know, you know what? What I think he's going for. I feel like in like the 50s, that's like what when you see a detective, that's the kind of mustache a detective has, or like Sherlock Holmes. Why would they? I feel like it, like, you know, like a like a character, like a caricature. That's like 18. Sorry, yeah, yeah, yeah. 60. I feel like I feel like he's trying to, he's go, he's doing a caricature of a of a um of a detective. Well, he looks like a fool with that damn mustache. I bust out laughing, but yes, crazy mustache, tiny man. The mustache is bigger than him. Um, but they're fishing a car out of the a river, and then on his way to school, Jack picks up an article. Not sure why this is, you know, headline news, but it says teacher marked absent in the picture of Mr. Walker. Dun dun dun. Because that is his car in the river. So the next day, so after the car has been discovered, Lexi wakes up that morning and she now sees. Well, she doesn't see nothing. Her dad comes to her, and he is like, Okay, wake up, bedhead. Your teacher has gone missing. Um, his car was found in the river. Uh, his body has not been discovered, but his car was found. It's not looking too good, it's not looking too hot. She's stunned, she's shocked, she calls Brenda Song, um, tells her the news as well. To mourn this loss, they haven't found his body yet, but I guess to mourn the situation, Brenda Song and Lexi both show up to school um in all black in solidarity. And then Lexi also shares her concerns with Jen.
SPEAKER_05:Like, don't you think it's weird that like after I did this news article, he's gone missing, and like and Jen's like, no, I don't think that's weird, which is weird because it is weird.
SPEAKER_03:Um they go to Mrs. Dawson's class. She looks kind of upset, but she's staying strong. While Lexi's in class, she gets pulled out to speak with Detective Potter, which is a mustache guy. Um, he pulls her in and he's like, Hey, so I know you wrote this article about the two teachers. Do you have any information about them? And she basically tells her like he how he how she overheard Mr. Walker and Mrs. Dawson breaking up, and how she did mention that um not both of us could work in this school. And he's like, Oh, that's interesting. Um, she's like, Yeah. And then before she leaves, she says, you know, Mr. Parr, has anyone ever told you that you would look better without the mustache? Which is very brave of her, and she really is helpful to society. And then she goes about her day. And then so right after Lexi leaves, um, now it's Miss Dawson's turn to be interviewed. Um, but when she walks into the classroom where Mr. Potter is conducting these interviews, Lexi and Jake, Jack, Jack, are outside the door listening. So she's in there, Miss Dawson. She's getting interrogated. Basically, the cop is asking her, Is it true that you had a relationship with Mr. Walker? She said, Yes, that is true. And he asks her, When's the last time you saw him? She says, Yesterday afternoon. He asked him, Well, how was he? What was his demeanor like? She was like, he was perfectly fine. And he was like, Isn't it true that y'all broke up? And she was like, Well, yeah. And he's like, Isn't it true? You were having a heated discussion with him the last time you spoke to him about your relationship, and you were upset that he was breaking up with you and you threatened him. And she was like, Sounds like I need to get a lawyer. Because you're trying to accuse me of something I ain't too. And that's how that goes. This whole time Lexi and Lexi and Jake were eavesdropping on this conversation. And Lexi feels bad because she feels like what she said earlier to the detective is the reason why Miss Dawson is now the prime suspect. Um, because she doesn't believe that she had anything to do with his with his dis with Mr. Um Mr. Walker's disappearance. But Jake seems to think otherwise. He's like, Well, she's a prime suspect, she probably has something to do with it. She thinks her only crime is loving him. Yes. So Lexi decides, like, she plans on getting to the bottom of this, of his disappearance, because this is this can't be true. And then Jake is like, well, I'm the only one who knows Mr. Walker. I should be a part of this. And she was like, okay, do you want to join forces? And he's like, I guess just don't tell anybody.
SPEAKER_05:Which is weird because it's like clear that she's a popular girl, then I wouldn't hang out with you.
SPEAKER_03:But well, I don't think it's like a just don't tell anybody, like, I don't want to be seen with you type thing. I think it's like, let's keep this hush hush. Cause I don't know, you know, we're trying to solve a murder here, I guess. I guess. Yeah. Um, but I will say, them two cannot agree on anything throughout this whole movie. If she says the sky is up, he's gonna say the sky is down. He's a really bad actor. She's gonna say, huh?
SPEAKER_05:He's a really bad actor.
SPEAKER_03:Not really bad. He's pretty bad. It's so funny that you say that because I thought he did such a phenomenal job with the horrible lines he was given.
SPEAKER_06:I thought he was really bad.
SPEAKER_03:What? I I felt like every time, I feel like Lex the New York accent that he was doing was a bit much. He sounded like Steve from Sex in the City. I was like, I cannot stop saying Steve. Yeah, the New York accent was too much. I was like, can we dial it down just a little? I feel like I could tell when they said action. And he was like, that I don't know, I didn't like it. I feel like he was trying to. I thought every time he talked, he had to be the one who like. I hate in movies when you have to like visibly expla like word for word explain what's happening in the scene. And I feel like every time his lines consisted of that. I feel like he was every time he spoke, like he had to be the one who had to explain everything that we already know is going on. So I just feel like he did a great job with the very dumb lines that he was given. I don't know what it was. I thought he was, I thought he was like, Like Mr. Walker, it looks like you've been blackmailed and you have to go to the hotel at 2 p.m. on Saturday or something's gonna happen to Miss Dawson. That was worse. Yes, we know that. Yeah, yeah. Just read it to us. But no, I I could I thought he was bad. I thought he was really bad. I was like Lindsay seemed like. So crazy. I thought he did so good. I thought Lindsay seems so natural and with the vibe and like it was. I thought you was kind of stiff. No, I felt like I felt like that it was was hard. And to him, to me, it felt like he I could I felt like I knew when he was saying Ash and he was like, and this is what it I didn't like it. It just felt like he was trying to do it. That's so crazy to me. That's so crazy. So bad. Especially, it's like certain parts. I'm like, oh my god, that was really hard to watch. Like that. That is so funny.
SPEAKER_05:That when they first agree to work together, I'm just like, oh god, dude, you're doing terribly.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, I thought he did good.
SPEAKER_05:No, that's why I can see him acting anymore. He did terrible. That's what he's called.
SPEAKER_03:L-O-L. Well, the two decide to join forces. So that night, Lexi goes to her dad, who's sitting in like the four-year or their whatever room, and she asks him for like journalism advice. And he tells her that um the best way to start if you're like trying to do some detective journalist work, is to start with the background of the people, and that's gonna like unfold the case. And at this point, he's talking to her and he's like, But you shouldn't get involved in your teacher's case. She's like, Oh no, I was just asking. Um, I don't plan on getting involved, blah blah blah. And she crosses her fingers as she walks out the room, and then she goes to visit her little sister Taylor's room. Um, yeah, she's she's gonna get involved in that case. But she then she goes to visit her little sister Taylor's room, who has all the spy stuff. And I guess she wants to do like a see what she can use for this spy adventure. And Taylor's like, yeah, if you want some spy, some spy gear, you should just check out the spy shop. It's across the street from mom's Pilates place. And she's like, Oh, great. So the next day, Lexi and Jake they go to the spy store to get some gear for their stocking of their teachers. Um, and at one point, Jen walks in and Jen is there with Gabe. Gabe is who we met earlier. He's like, he's really into photography and videotaping and like he records everything. Everything. And he's been asking, this whole movie he's been asking Lexi, oh, how do you feel about um? How'd you get the latest scoop? How did you get the the photo of Mr. Dawson? He never lets anyone take his pictures. Right. What happened to Mr. Walker? Yeah. What happened to Mr. Walker? I know you know what happened, blah blah blah. She's like, I don't know. But so Jen walks in there with Gabe, and unbeknownst to her, he's part of this case now too, because originally Lexi and Jake were supposed to be on this together, but Gabe has gotten his his little crunch, his little uh hands on it because he wants to do the big break before the big people get on it, and he wants to get the whole scoop or whatever. And apparently, Jen's like, I have great information. Gabe lives across the street for Mrs. Dawson. So we can like survey her, we can like watch her stake out. We can have a stake out her. We can do a stake out to see if she's a part of it or not part of Mr. Walker's disappearance. And maybe we can prove her innocence, or maybe we can prove that she did it, you know?
SPEAKER_02:And Jake and Lexi are sold. So now it's a four-man plan, not just two people no more.
SPEAKER_03:So now the the now four team all go back to Lexi's Manhattan Upper East Side apartment. And Jake walks in, he's like, oh wow. So this is how the other half lives, because Lexi's incredibly. Um, so they all walk into the apartment, they order lunch, and they begin spelling out their plan. So Lexi's like, okay, let's get Krakowac in. Why don't me and Jen go down to Mr. Walker's apartment, um, see if we can find anything? And Jake, why don't you and Gabe watch Mrs. Dawson from his apartment and see, you know, if she does anything crazy? And Lexi's like, Jake, did you get Mr. Walker's address? And he's like, Yeah, he lives in Brooklyn. These kids are upper east siders. Okay. Brooklyn. Right. I love how. When he said the area, they're like, where the hell is that? Because they don't say he didn't say Brooklyn at first time. Oh yeah, he lives in Bushwick. And they're like, the fuck is that? And he's like, Brooklyn. Brooklyn. And they're like, ew, bros. I just the thought of a New Yorker not knowing all of New York is crazy to me. Why would a New Yorker know all of New York? New York is huge. You should know Brooklyn. I don't know. Like just never been to Brooklyn. But they're like, ew, Brooklyn. I'm just like, you you don't go to Brooklyn. I don't know.
SPEAKER_05:No.
SPEAKER_03:It's a crazy concept to me. They live in Manhattan. It's a s it's a it's a small, but it's a very small area. It's a you know small drawing. It's it's huge. I think it's an island. It's a small island. It's a big island.
SPEAKER_05:Whatever. They can I just think it's crazy that people just like I just hang out in Manhattan. Like you never go.
SPEAKER_03:Never understood that. I think when they're rich kids and they're snooty and snobby, it's easy for them to stay in their snooty and snobby many.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, I mean I just met in general for like all of New Yorkers. I think it's crazy that they just stayed a bubble.
SPEAKER_03:That's fair.
SPEAKER_01:So Jen is like, bitch, I ain't going to Brooklyn.
SPEAKER_03:And Lexi's like, but any good, you know, investigator will like go outside their norms and boundaries. And Jen's like, well, I'm not a good investigator because I'm not fucking going. And Lexi's like, fine. It looks like Jake, Jack, me and you will have to go down to Mr. Walker's apartment. And Gabe and Jen will be watching Mrs. Jawson from his apartment. Plan set, that's what they do. Lexi's like, okay, cool, I'll call a car for me and you, Jake. And Jake's like, bitch, car, we taking the subway. And she's like, oh my god, the subway? No, but that's what I understand. He's like, don't tell me you've never taken the subway before. And she's like, I take it all the time. She's never taken it. So that's a bye bye kick. That's a bye bye I can get with. Like, why would I just take away? Never take you the subway?
SPEAKER_04:Is it if I don't need to? Or I take the subway.
SPEAKER_03:How I don't now that's even crazier. Bitch, you need to get a chance to get a chance. I can go to Brooklyn, but I'm not taking the subway. I know, but like, how would she get in the school? She has a car. No, her dad. She can get still drives to school every day in New York. No, no, no, no, no. They they call the car. Yeah. Right, but I'm I'm just saying, I'm just like, you gonna sit in there traffic? That's crazy. I'd rather go on the subway.
SPEAKER_05:No. Ew.
SPEAKER_03:I hate puts. If I didn't never have to get the subway again, it's the subway is not bad.
SPEAKER_01:If I'm uh two-stop.
SPEAKER_03:So if you had to, if you if you had to subway. I would not talk about the bus. No, but someone said, hey, you could grab, you could take the subway and it's gonna take 10-15 minutes longer, or I can buy pay for this car for you, this Uber for you. Would you take it? Well, if it's cool, I would take the quicker option. So I think it's always gonna be quicker. I think it's I don't think New York traffic is not quick. But you want to go for the subway. But you always have to get you have to get on the subway, it has to be on time, it has to stop places. I think the subway is always gonna be slightly quicker for the most part. Especially if you're going to fucking Manhattan and Brooklyn. You're saying it's going to be quicker? That's true. Because it's not, it's not like you get on one train, you gotta get off, you gotta get on this train, you gotta get on another subject. You said you think the subway's gonna be quicker, but you're describing a process that would be longer.
SPEAKER_05:No, I don't think the subway's is what I'm saying. The subway is gonna be longer because you have to get on one subway to another subway, is what I'm saying. I think the car is gonna be quicker.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. That's not what you said.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, that's what I meant clearly, because I'm a team, not subway.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:They get on the subway and Lexi's like, a whole new world. She's like, oh my god, this is Brooklyn, who knew? She sees regular people in regular clothes. She's like, oh my goodness, this is astounding. I never knew. And he's like, oh, Jake's like, okay, cool. Um, so they make their way to Mr. Walker's apartment. They get there, they arrive, and to their astonishment, they see Miss Stern leaving his apartment. They're like, what the fuck is she doing here? So after she leaves, they sneak in. I don't understand how they get in.
SPEAKER_01:And the door is unlocked.
SPEAKER_03:That's crazy. In New York. So they sneak into his apartment. They're looking around, they're scoping the scene. Lexi's like, oh my goodness, this is so much fun. I could really get behind sleuthing. This is so cool. Then she hears like a cat, and she's like, never mind, I'm scared. Let's go. And he's like, oh my god, calm down. So they're doing a little bit more digging, and they find this briefcase in Mr. Walker's apartment. And on the briefcase, it has initials KP. And they're like, KP? Oh, isn't that KP? MP.
SPEAKER_04:Nicholas Petroce.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, MP, MP, right, right, right, right, right. Nancy Pelosi. That's how I remembered it. Oh. Um, they had Pelosi. They have discovered this briefcase that has the initials MP on it. They're like, MP, who's MP? And after You remember it by somebody else's name, not his name? Yes. Almost like MP, Nancy Pelosi.
SPEAKER_00:Our girl.
SPEAKER_05:Not his name, Nicholas Petrovsky. You remember it by thinking of someone else's name. That's hilarious. Yes.
SPEAKER_03:So they find a briefcase just as there, um, about to wrap everything up. She like opens a mirror or like a door that has a mirror behind it, and she sees the reflection of a man. And she screams bloody murder. Yeah. Of course I would too. Who the fuck is this man up in here with us?
SPEAKER_05:Because I remember the only one sneak into people's houses.
SPEAKER_03:Cut two, the man who's in the apartment claims to be with the authorities investigating the disappearance of Mr. Walker. He identifies himself as Detective Meanie.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Meanie, because he's mean. He shows, um, he shows Lexi and Jake Jack his badge. And um he axes them, do you know what you're doing is illegal? Being in here is breaking and entering. And they're like, no, we had no idea. So, so sorry. And they were like, Can you, do you know if Mr. Walker's dead? And he's like, I can't give you that information. It's strictly police info. Um, but if you have any information on his disappearance, you should give me that information right now. And Lexi is like, we don't know nothing. Jake's like, yeah, we really don't know anything. We should probably get going. Um so they skedaddle out of there. As they're walking, Jake's a little spooked. He was like, oh, that was the close one. Lexi, however, is like, that man was a fake and a phony. He ain't no detective. And Jake's like, why? What makes you say that? And she's like, girl, he had on a Rolex. He's rich. He had on an Amani, Amani, he had on an Amani suit and leather boots. No New York detective could afford those things on their salary. And he's like, any private detective who worked hard could afford those items. This is like them again disagreeing. And he's like, that's not proof that he's a phony detective. And she was like, well, maybe it is proof. And he's like, well, maybe it's not. And she's like, well, maybe it is. And he's like, okay, why don't we look into him just a little bit more and we can figure that out? And she's like, okay, fine. Let's go back to my apartment. And he's like, no, we can go to my house. It's right here. So they arrive at Jack's house, Jake's house, whatever his name is. Um, and Lexi is surprised to learn that he lives in Brooklyn. And she's like, You live in Brooklyn? And he's like, Yeah. She's like, why didn't she say anything? He's like, nobody ever asked. And then he reveals that he's going to Middleton Prep on a scholarship. And right. He's not like the rich, the rich kids. He's Dan Humphrey. It's like everyone assumes that everyone who goes to Middleton lives on the Upper East Side and has a doorman. Not me. I'm from the other side of the chat. I just have a two-story home in Brooklyn. I live in our bronze stone. We're on our own house with our own yard. We're like struggling here. Like you're shut the fuck up.
SPEAKER_02:No.
SPEAKER_03:You she she rich and you middle class. No.
SPEAKER_02:But they're not in provision. Yeah. You're not living in a in a fucking one-bedroom apartment with you and your mom.
SPEAKER_03:You guys have a home, a two story home, that is the size of a like a size of a regular home in non New York cities, or like right. It was a decent size. It's a decent size home. So it's a multi million dollar home, I'm sure. Right, definitely. So he goes in, they go in to the house. Um, they meet, well, Lexi meets Jake's mom, who's a nurse, who Works the night shift. Um, and why is your mom home right now?
SPEAKER_06:She works the night shift. She works the night shift. I thought that was a crazy question to ask him. I don't know why.
SPEAKER_03:She'd be asking crazy questions this whole damn movie. Like, why is your mom working? I mean, she she's off today. I I don't know. Right. This was a weird question to ask. I was it a school day? What do you mean? It's like five. Like, I thought it was an afternoon. I don't know. I'm just like, because she doesn't work late. She's working. I mean, she has she has a point, but I was like, damn, she can't be home right now. And we also, my favorite part, and then she's like, she's like, what's that small? He's like, Oh, my mom's probably cooking. She's like, she cooks? I'm like, work. That's the kind of mom would be.
SPEAKER_06:I don't cook. And my kids are shocked by it.
SPEAKER_03:She has no idea about this type of lifestyle. So they meet his mom. Or she meets his mom. Then they go to his room. Um, he reveals that he used to share his room with his brother, who's now in the army. Um, he's stationed in Hawaii. And like, he's like, oh my god, I love Hawaii. It's so fantastic. The Walla Hula Kookie Hotel is my favorite. What's your favorite island in Hawaii? And he's like, I've never been.
SPEAKER_04:Go visit your mama. She's like, I mean your brother.
SPEAKER_03:He don't got money. Stop lying. Your mama nurse. Money was long back then. Money was long. But she acting like she's a bit of bluebist.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, she's a bit of blueboast. But I'm like, you can go see your brother on the base. Come on.
SPEAKER_03:So then um she asks him about his father. As we all know, this is a Disney movie, so someone's parent has to be dead. So he reveals that his father died some years back. Yeah. Um, apologizes. Not a big plot, though. Not even that. Just like a yeah, he's dead. But you know they gotta do it. Um, so then they get on his computer, they start looking up um Mr. Meanie. He also reveals that the computer that he has, Mr. Walker gave it to him. So this is Mr. Walker's old computer. They look up Mr. Meanie, they find his name in the Google search, I don't know, the phone book, whatever database thing is.
SPEAKER_06:They pretend they have.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, he it checks out, looks like it, it's he says who he says he is. And Lexi's like, this could be fake. He could be a liar. And he's like, or we could read into the facts that we see right here that this man is clearly a detective. But they can't agree. Um, but then he gets an email and Jake's like, oh, I got an email. And it is from Mr. Walker. Now, Mr. Walker's presumed to be dead.
SPEAKER_04:Presumed at the very least.
SPEAKER_03:Presumed?
SPEAKER_07:Assumed? Presumed.
SPEAKER_04:Presumed to be dead.
SPEAKER_07:It just didn't feel right.
SPEAKER_01:Presumed. Words are hard.
SPEAKER_03:So why is a missing man, possibly a dead man, sending me an email? Um what what could that be about? So then Lexi's like, wait, hey, isn't this his old computer? And Jake's like, yeah, and she's like, well, let's do some digging, see if we can find some old files, some old records, some old shits. And they find a name somewhere on the computer. Nicholas Petrovsky.
SPEAKER_05:It's in the computers we're interested to.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, good. Because I was like, where do we see this?
SPEAKER_05:It's like the system, they go to like this the systems, the computer systems information.
SPEAKER_03:It's like Okay. Cool. They're like, ah, Nicholas Petrovsky. The initials, MP. They're like, what the hell? Mr. Walker's real name is Nicholas Petrovsky. And they're like, let's do some further investigating.
SPEAKER_05:Yes. So while this is all going on, one thing happened. I want to point out. While they're walking, this has nothing to do with anything. Um, Lexi notices a homeless man with Mr.
SPEAKER_03:uh Mr. Walker's uh coat on. This storyline has nothing to do with anything. I just want to point it out because you think it's gonna come full circle and it's gonna be this whole thing. It doesn't.
SPEAKER_00:You think you think it's gonna be relevant at some point, but it really is. It was a waste of a storyline.
SPEAKER_03:And then while this whole thing's going on, uh I don't know if we mentioned it. Jen and Gabe are at at uh Gabe's home, and they set up a camera pointed, pointed at Mrs. Dawson's uh home, her apartment in her living room, and they're just doing surveillance and just sitting there for most of the time. She's working out, she's chilling, and they're just like waiting for something action for action to happen. Now what if she decided she wanted to pleasure herself? Change, take her clothes off, do anything. Take the clothes off, have sex with a guy. And honestly, cameras have come so far because like people that have like hidden cameras, like their camera's so obvious. Like that camera was huge, so obvious. I wish it was so big. I wish they had cameras. And he literally puts a plot, like a plant in front of it that barely hides it.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, and hash it just looks, she probably saw it, but can't I wish cameras were like that and we just knew we were always being watched, but it's like this the biggest camera. But anyhow, so they're waiting for action to happen.
SPEAKER_03:So eventually a man walks in, he's he's holding a plant, and he he they seem to be having like I don't know, like a heater or passionate conversation together. And they're like, Who's this man with Mrs. Dawson? Who's this man? Who's this man? He finally puts the plants down, and it's their other teacher, teach uh Mr. Goldblum. And they're like, What's this about? They're like the advisor to the newspaper. Yes, and they seem slightly romantic, they're just confused. They hug, he puts his arm around her, they're concerned. But as this is going on, um, Jake and Lexi, they call them back to Lexi's apartment so they can debrief. They go to Lexi's apartment, she shares, she shares with them everything she learned about uh Mr.
SPEAKER_01:Nicholas Petrovsky, Mr.
SPEAKER_03:Walker's running Mr. Petrovsky, that there's a detective looking for him, um, that they don't know if he's a real detective, that so-and-so was with this person, a Stern was there, all this stuff. So while they're recapping, um Jake is actually doing some research here. He looks up the name Nicholas Petrovsky, and they pull it up and they find a news article that says, um, or like from seven or ten years ago, an Arizona newspaper saying that Nicholas Petrovsky is um dead, presumed and missing and being looked up looked into for like fraud, embezzlement for saying like$10 million, and they don't know what where he is, but he's survived by his mother.
SPEAKER_02:Um, forgot her name, but she lives in Brooklyn. And they're like, great, we'll look up.
SPEAKER_03:We gotta go back to Brooklyn again. And and Jake is like, I'll do some research, see if I can find his mom's address, and we go from there. So next day is another day of school. The only thing that happens at school is you see Lexi looking at Jake a little, a little like, wow, he's so interesting. He has such a fascinated back. Oh my god, he he lives in Brooklyn and his dad is dead, and he's poor. And Jen is like, oh, I knew you liked him. She doesn't saying this out loud, but Jen is like, I see y'all looking at each other. I know, I know y'all's vibe and um, but Jake comes up to me, he's like, hey guys, I found uh Nicholas Prochowski's mother's address. And you they're like, What? How'd you figure it out? So I just looked it up in the white pages. Is that different from the yellow pages? I don't know. Um, also, I think it's funny that's like white pages is like business. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02:I don't know what it was. I don't know what the difference is.
SPEAKER_03:I was like, all right, but I think it's also funny that back in the day, people's name and phone number used to be in but I feel like you had to opt to do that. Yeah, you did. I think you did, but no one was like, what would be the point of me opting out?
SPEAKER_04:But now people are like, what do you call it when you um expose someone's address? They something they doxed me.
SPEAKER_03:I'm like, that I it means when like, I don't know, like if we got into a Twitter beef and I just put it on the internet, like, this is Jade's address, go kill her, or I don't know. They call it doxing. I don't know that. I think that's what it is, unless they mean for some reason it's also you know that I think that's what that means, or it means when you call the police and you say go check up on someone and the police or rack at your comp. I don't know. But I just think it's funny that in today's time people are like they like hide their dresses. Yes, look her up on the yellow pages. There's a time you just put your name your your your your name and the address. Yeah, and it didn't really matter.
SPEAKER_06:You have to you probably have to opt out of it because who the fuck are you?
SPEAKER_05:But it's also it's I mean it's now like it's hard to find your address. You just have to pay a website now. It used to be free information.
SPEAKER_04:That's all I gotta say about that.
SPEAKER_02:Um, so Lexi and Jake, they continue their sleuthing and they arrive at Nicholas Prussi's mother's house, and she opens to the door, and then go, ma'am, we're looking for Nicholas Pris Proskroski.
SPEAKER_03:Do you know who that is? She says, never heard of it. I just think nobody by that name lives here. I just think it's funny because it's like, ma'am, that's your son. Like, we know you know perfectly. It's like nobody by that name lives here. And she's like, I've never heard of that name. Like, but we know that's your son. It's your son. Also, your last name is Pruskowski. You don't know that person. And then um, Lexi's like, um, it's a really interesting name. I'm sure if you think about it, you come to It'll jog your memory. You'll you'll recognize the name. And just like his friends, like, I don't know what that is. You either come up with a better lie. Just say he's not here. That's my son, he's not here. I don't know where he's been.
SPEAKER_05:I've never seen him before, I haven't seen him in years.
SPEAKER_03:Um, but she's saying, the mom is saying, I don't know who that is, he's not here, blah, blah, blah. And then in the background behind her, we hear Mr. Walker's voice. He's like, It's okay, mom, just let them in. And they she opens the door and we see Mr. Walker there in the background, alive.
SPEAKER_07:He's alive.
SPEAKER_02:He's alive. He's doing a lot.
SPEAKER_06:He's not even trying to hide. Fake your own death to go to your mother's house. Come on.
SPEAKER_03:Right. No, seriously. You're hiding out at your mom's mother's house.
SPEAKER_05:It's not like she even lives in a different city. She lives uh uh uh you could walk to her house because y'all both live in Brooklyn.
SPEAKER_03:Y'all both are in Brooklyn. It looked like y'all really, it really looked like they walked across the street. It did. It really did. So okay, so the kids make their way into the house, and Mr. Walker is now giving them the low damn. Um, he's like, damn. I guess it's it's it's truth telling time. Um so he tells them the whole deal. He tells them back in '89, when he was a young whippersnapper, he was um working at a bank. He was trying to become this like top broker banker something in Arizona. Um, working for this company. He was young, trying to be a hot shot. And he was quickly climbing up the corporate ladder. And he had landed this very large account that um gained the attention of a lot of people at the bank. The bank? The brokerage?
SPEAKER_05:Whatever. The bank. Um should have been finance, but whatever he word for bank.
SPEAKER_03:Right. Um, and including his boss, um, to which his mother said she never liked his boss. Um, but nonetheless, so this large account that he landed, um, it quickly became such a huge problem because right after he landed that account, um, someone ended up stealing$10 million out of that account and opened up an offshore account under his name. And when he noticed that, he's like, oh fuck. And just when he was about to report it, um, take not take the money, but report the the money to the police, this offshore account that was opened in his name, that he didn't open, the money had been taken.
SPEAKER_02:Gone.
SPEAKER_03:So he's like, Well, fuck. Can't go to the police now. Now the money's gone. I can't even account for the money. They're gonna think it's me. He's like, I gotta get out of Dodge now. Someone's framing for me for this. So he's packing up his bags, he's packing up his suitcases, and he's getting ready to skedaddle. And um I don't believe these are the same type of people. Huh?
SPEAKER_05:I don't believe he's the same. Because Mr. Walker, as a teacher, is a I guess he's a fish.
SPEAKER_03:Fighting for a crime will do that to you. It'll soften it.
SPEAKER_02:Softened him up, yeah. He seems like just like a little nerd.
SPEAKER_03:Like I can't even imagine him as a banker. That was a big time banker. As a finance world. Right, talking with his feet up on the desk. Right, snoring cocaine. So at air. That was really far back. That way he got on is crazy. That two page weren't. Right. They could have done him a little better than that. But so he had to get out of town. He had to get out of Dodge. And then he started getting threatening messages from whoever framed him. Like, I know you did it, even though he didn't do it. I think that's weird.
SPEAKER_06:After the article came out.
SPEAKER_03:There's an article that came out?
SPEAKER_06:The Lex Lexi's article.
SPEAKER_03:No, he was getting threatening messages before then, he said.
SPEAKER_06:Oh, really?
SPEAKER_03:Oh. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03:From like the person who framed him. The person who framed it was like, I know you did it.
SPEAKER_07:Oh.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. You did it. So why are you saying that I did it? But anywho. So then he also tells the kids, you know, after that he had to um change his identity. So the name Orlando Walker was a teacher in town who died a couple years before. Um, so he stole his identity. They brushed over that. Like, yeah, they brushed over that. I was like, well, that's identity, though. Yeah. Um, so dead or not. Right. Definitely. Should be frowned upon your art. Yeah. Right. But we'll let it go, I guess. Right. He's you said it with a smile, so I guess. Right. It's fine. Um, so he steals the identity of a dead man who was also a teacher. So he prompted himself to become a teacher. Fell in love with it, enjoyed teaching, met Miss Dawson, fell in love with her. Disney. And um, everything was going good, everything was going great until Lexi came out with that article. Yeah. With his picture in it. He's in hiding. He's hiding out. Now there's a picture of him, and now the threats are coming back. The black male is coming back. He started getting threats again. Right. So that's why someone's following him, someone's threatening him. So that's why his car ended up in the river. He tried to fake his own death. And that's why he broke up with Miss Dawson because he didn't want to get her in the mix of things. Um Lexi's like, oh my God, Mr. Dawson, I had no idea. You probably started getting those strings after your picture was in my article. And he's like, Yeah, shit. He's like, it's fine, Lexi. It's fine.
SPEAKER_06:It's whatever, I guess. And then he tells them that he recently received a note, but it got wet during the rain.
SPEAKER_02:Um, but in the note, um, it basically says, like, meet me at this hotel tomorrow at 2 p.m. Bring the bring the money, or Miss Dawson's gonna get it. Um, but they're reading the note, it's kind of messed up, so they can't tell which hotel it's at.
SPEAKER_03:And Jack, so he reads he reads the letter out loud and then he read he re reiterates what he just read.
SPEAKER_02:He read he reiterated what he just read.
SPEAKER_03:Like I said, why would they have him say that? Like, we just read, we just read the letter. And now you're making it. Oh my god. And then they made him say what the letter said. I said, we just read the letter. Right. So what it says here is that you gotta go to this hotel at 2 p.m. now. We all know. Mr. Walker, it looks like you have to go to this hotel Saturday at 2 p.m. or something's gonna happen to Miss Dawson. I don't know if that was clear in the letter that I just read, but I'm gonna say it out loud verbally. I would be so pissed with these kids. Even when Lexica's like, why didn't you just return the money? You think I tried that bitch? Like, get the fuck up my house. Like, get the fuck up my house. She's little shit. It sounds like gonna go to this hotel at two people, but I'm fucking meet you. Like, y'all are pissing me off. Like, why am I talking to y'all? Y'all are like not helpful. Thank you, child. Like, uh, you fucking tried that. You think I just threw away my life by not trying the simplest thing, the simplest option? Why just return the money? Shut the fuck up. The money's gone, bitch. I'm not going to jail. Also, I can't stand Jake's hair. What is that? This hair reminds me of it reminds me of Jim's hair, season one, two. Leave leave Jake alone. I can't help. It fits the look. Yeah, I guess. I just can't. It is really doing like a swoop up. I'm like, it's a little too swoopy up, guys. It's a little too much. It's the error. But anywho, so yeah. After Jake, you know, really hones that litter in for everyone, um, they're like, okay, we need to figure out what hotel he's supposed to be at. That's our next, our next big thing. Honestly, when I was watching that movie, I was like, okay, what's happening next? Because I don't see what the big deal is. But they had to figure out where the hotel is. So Lexi's like, I know who to call. I'll call my sister Taylor. She's got spy shit. She can figure this out. So they go back to Lexi's house. Um, they call in Taylor. She um whips out her spy reading kit. It's very serious. She like presses a button, the door closes, she sprinkles like dust over the paper and some more dust and some more dust. And then she turns the lights off and it's like bla black light. And then she holds up the paper and on it, she sprays something on it. And on the paper it says, meet at the fair mark tomorrow at 2 p.m. Good job, guys. So now we've got our location.
SPEAKER_04:Now we got our relation location. So the next day is the day. What?
SPEAKER_01:You said roll relation, location.
SPEAKER_03:Did I say that? Yeah. Yep. We got the location, location, location. You were trying to say location, but relationship started coming out of your mouth. I don't know how that happened. We got the location. It's the next day. Um the goal is to meet the fair mark. Um, Lexi is heading out before she leaves. Her dad stops her and he's like, hey, I've heard some troubling news about Mr. Walker from this new paper article. The title is The Teach is the Leech, is a Leech. And in it, it describes how Mr. Walker um might be Nicholas Petrolski and that he's been wanted for fraud and embezzlement.$10 million is missing, and now all books are great covers or whatever. Um, and you know, that sucks. But I don't know what was the point of that. But she looks amazing in this scene. Her outfit is 10 out of 10. And she walks out the door, she meets the rest of the gang. Everyone else looks very fashionable. Everyone understood the assignment and they do a slow motion walk. This is why I think this movie's campy, because what is the point of any of this? Um, and they meet up with Mr. Walker, they prep him for whatever reason. He's putting all his trust into these eighth graders, maybe ninth graders, I don't know. Um, but they give Mr. Walker's. He's literally listening to their plans. That's what I'm like, is this man off? Is he okay? You mean to tell me you were able to land a$10 million account 10 years ago, and now you're enlisting 14-year-olds to like tell you what to do? You've played dead twice and you can't figure out how to blackmail, you know, figure this out. But yeah, so Mr. Walker gets some spy gadgets. I think one of them is like a listening device. So whenever he meets up with the guy who's blackmailing him, he can record and everyone can hear anything. But anyhow, they arrived at the hotel at the Fairmark at the Fairmark.
SPEAKER_06:Fairmark.
SPEAKER_03:Um, they get into their places.
SPEAKER_05:For whatever reason, they huddle in the middle of the lobby. Big um giveaway, everyone. Mr. Walker walks in. They're like, hey, Mr. Walker. They didn't really say that, but it's the most obvious like setup ever.
SPEAKER_03:They take their places. Um, they're hiding behind bushes. Mr. Walker is sitting in a chair waiting for the blackmail guy to come. Oh my god, their outfits are so cute. Um, and before the blackmail comes in, we have a lot of people into this game. So Mrs. Dawson walks in. Why is she? Here, no one knows. Um, Mrs. Stern comes in. What Mr. Goldboom comes in, Mr. Walker's mom comes in. Why is a mom there? There's a lot of players in here, they're not supposed to be here. So they're all confused. Who was supposed to be here? And like as each person comes in, they're like, is this the blackmail? Is this the blackmail? Is this the blackmail? What's going on? Why is everyone here?
SPEAKER_02:Um, but eventually, Mr.
SPEAKER_03:Meanie comes in and is revealed that Mr. Meanie is not a detective. Lexi was right. He is Mr. Walker's old boss, and he is the one that's blackmailed Mr. Walker, stole the money and is framing Mr. Walker.
SPEAKER_02:Dun dun dun.
SPEAKER_04:And his name is Fasco Granville. Truly.
SPEAKER_03:And then so he has um a little conversation with him, and Mr. Meanie is basically like, Where is it? Where's the money? And Mr. Walker's like, I don't know what you're talking about, bro.
SPEAKER_04:I don't, I don't have anything.
SPEAKER_03:He's like, I don't have this briefcase. And Jake's like, um Jake's talking in his ear and is like entertain him, like keep keep him stalling. And he's like, okay, yeah, maybe I do got what you're looking for. And he's like, I'll give you half of it right now if you leave me alone. And Mr. Meanie's like, half. Half. Nigga, stop playing around. At first I was like, why is he so opposed to half? And like towards that movie. Yeah, it all makes sense. So at this point, I think Mr. Meanie or his real name, Granville, realizes he's being he's being like taped and he's being watched. And he's like, Who's watching me? Who's with you? And gets freaked out. And he tries to grab the briefcase and he runs away. Tries, I think he drops the briefcase, but he runs away, he trips over a suitcase, and this whole run sequence begins.
SPEAKER_02:I hate this part of the movie. Um, Jake and Lexi run after, they go up, and then Jen and Gabe they go down to find Mr.
SPEAKER_03:Meanie or Mr. Granville to go catch him. Uh, Mr. Walker can because he tripped over a suitcase and he heard his ankle. He's like, please go stop him or whatever. So this big sequence of running happens. They're going up, they're going down. For whatever reason, the homeless man from earlier is in here and he's running everywhere. And you just think like he has something to do with the story. He's being chased by security because can't be in the hotel because he's homeless. And you think he has something to do with the story, but he doesn't.
SPEAKER_02:Um, at one point, they they uh well Jake and Lexi track Mr. Meanie down in like the basement and like the engineer room, and Jake said the engine room, and then Jake said saves Lexi's life from the like this hot steam because her bracelet gets stuck on something and she's gonna have hot steam in her face, and he saves her life, and she kisses him on the cheek and they go back on their running spree.
SPEAKER_03:But as they're running downstairs, I don't even know why, whatever. They pass the ladies' locker room, and Lexi or both of them, they hear someone screaming. Lexi's like, wait here, I'm gonna go in. Lexi goes in, she follows the screams, and then she happens upon Mrs. Dawson looking ridiculous. This, whatever I she pisses me off at this scene. I just can't stand looking at looking at her. I can't stand looking at her. She looks crazy.
SPEAKER_07:Crazy.
SPEAKER_03:So she's in the locker room and she's sitting down. She got this robe on, but then she got this avocado mask on. So she looks crazy. And then she's got like the tie that goes around the robe, it's wrapped around her mouth. Then her feet are in these two uneven, oddly shaped buckets of wax and oil. I don't even know what it is. Right. I don't even know what the what the what her feet are sitting in, but she's sitting in a pole of water. What is the point of it? Right. What is the point of it? And then so Lexi unties her mouth, and Ms. Dawson's like, you know, what's going on? I came here because I was invited to an exclusive spa day, and this has happened to me, and she's like, What are you doing here? And Lexi's like, I'll explain all this to you later, but for right now, I need to like rinse you off. So then Lexi helps her up, but she starts moving like she's fucking. Is she drinking stein? Like she's like she's a mummy getting out of goddamn sarcophagus, and she's walking for the first time. She's like walking like B, five, fold, bum. Can't say. Then Lexi pushes her in the shower with the robe on, which I thought was crazy. And then she starts huffing and puffing like she can't breathe in the shower. Bitch, you're not submerged in a pool because you're in the shower. What is going on? I'm like, is she high right now? Yeah, she's driving me. She drives me off. And she pushes her in the shower like she's pushing her off the ledge of a building.
SPEAKER_02:Are you having a panic attack? What's going on? What is going on?
SPEAKER_03:It pisses me off. She looks crazy. And then I don't know. I was when I was watching, I was like, this is clearly a kid's movie. That seat right there. Because it's just stupid. You're like, let's put her, let's put her feet in gelat gelatin. She's tied to the chair. Is it so if she tries to get up, she slips and falls? And then the home alone is this. I don't know. I don't know what the point of it is.
SPEAKER_02:Don't know what the point of that. And then she's like, clean up. Bitch, I was just tied to a chair. You think I give a fuck about cleaning up?
SPEAKER_03:I'm not staying in here. Right. And that shit, again, another adult listening to what she's saying. She's like, okay. Thank you. Um, so Lexi and Jake, they go back on their running spree. Um, for they happen upon one of the conferences that's going on in the building, and it's about homelessness. And her dad is also there because he's reported, and I guess he's gonna do a I don't know, something on the homelessness.
SPEAKER_02:So the homeless man from earlier went into the room, he gets in there, and like the guy, there's a guy up there, and he and she's introducing the speaker. And when the homeless man comes in, he's like, our councilman so-and-so, has just arrived. And councilman goes up there and he says, I've been, I've been pretending to be a homeless man for weeks, and I've lived the life of a homeless man, and I have this jacket because it's really nice. Man gave me this this jacket, and this jacket isn't isn't just isn't it just a jacket. This is shelter. And I'm sitting there thinking, what the fuck does this have to do? What anything does this have to do?
SPEAKER_03:And he's like, and this jacket was given to me by a man off of his back, and it kept me warm through the night since I was living on the New York streets as a homeless person. And the jacket was Mr. Walker's jacket. It was, but I was like, we did all this for we don't see this whole, this, this homeless man throughout this entire movie just for it to be revealed that Mr. Walker gave him his jacket. I was like, okay, maybe is the ruby in the jacket? I was like, can't remember. I was like, maybe the is the ruby's in the jacket. Like the money's in the jacket. Is that what it is? No. I was like, what would have made more sense if he was like, and she was like, oh, that's the jacket. That's where the money is. He has no point to the story. It was just pointless.
SPEAKER_02:Unless they were like, hey, just throw on something there so the kids know that homeless people aren't bad.
SPEAKER_04:I guess this is it. Um no point. No point once so fucking ever.
SPEAKER_01:Zero.
SPEAKER_03:No point once so fucking ever. And I was just watching, I was like, I couldn't remember the movie. I was like, this homeless man here, he's gonna be the key. Right. I was like, this is the key. He was gonna bring it all together. Like this homeless guy is is is pivotal to this movie. I can't remember why, but I know he's essential. Don't forget about the homeless movies. No, no, no, nothing to do about nothing. It had nothing to do with nothing. He had Mr. Walker's jacket. That was his whole storyline.
SPEAKER_02:Wait, maybe a form of shelter. So and she repeat, maybe it was to get her brain going about the brooch being a a former shelter.
SPEAKER_03:No, about where to keep the money? No, no, that's the only thing I can think of. No. She's like, because she goes, a former shelter. I've never thought about that. When he's I think that was just her bubble, her spoiled little, you know, life bubble saying that you these clothes to you are just clothes, but to the homeless and to the poor, they need this to survive. That was worse. That yeah. I was trying to. She's like, oh, clothes is a form of shelter. Who wouldn't the lesson? You think that's the lesson learned? You know, every movie you had to learn a lesson. Maybe that was a little bit more. That's the lesson learned for her, I guess. People need clothes just to survive. Also, hate to say it, he's wearing this coat.
SPEAKER_02:It's not even it's not even winter in New York City. It's hot aside, it's hot as hell outside.
SPEAKER_03:Right. It's a take the jacket off.
SPEAKER_02:It's not shelter.
SPEAKER_03:It's it's it's hot. Yeah, this is this whole movie.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, but anyway. Um, so they s they are so while they're watching this, um, Mr. Meanie runs behind them. They're like, okay, right, we back on track. So they follow Mr. Meanie, they're back into the lobby, they lost him. Um, but they're running around, and at this point, they run to Mr. Walker. He's like, What happened? or whatever. And they're like, and then Lexi's like, Mrs. Dawson's over there, and she comes tumbling down, not but she comes oddly walking down the stairs, and she jumps on him.
SPEAKER_03:But she just learned how to walk.
SPEAKER_02:Miss Dawson sees her man, Mr. Walker sees his woman, and she hops on him, bro and all, butt in the air, he really picks her up.
SPEAKER_05:For whatever reason, this scene always stuck with me as a child. I don't know, it's just like always it just always felt awkward.
SPEAKER_03:Well, it's it's nice to see that they're reunited. She thought her man was dead, so now he's a whole scene. He's a well, he's alive and well, and they're reunited. So then we gotta get back to Mr. Meanie. So mind you, Mrs. Petrovsky, she's there. She shouldn't have been there, but she's randomly just happens to be here. So she's sitting down, and the kids sit down with her.
SPEAKER_06:Yes.
SPEAKER_03:And Lexi using her little special gadgets that she got from the gadget store, she puts on these sunglasses, um, that allows her to see. I don't know if it's behind her. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_06:So she's wearing sunglasses and it allows to see behind her. Yeah, you're right.
SPEAKER_03:So she can see behind her.
SPEAKER_06:So Jack is Jack Jack is the one. Jack's sitting across from her.
SPEAKER_03:So if you so if you can see behind you using these glasses, he can just see looking straight ahead. But none of the things.
SPEAKER_05:You all dies here.
SPEAKER_03:So she tells Jack, Jake, she's like, there he is, Jack, Jake, go get him. So Jake Jack gets up and runs after him. And to stop him, there's this large cake that's being wheeled out um in the middle of the hotel lobby. And Jake gets a hold of the cart that the cake is on, and he pushes it um in front of Mr. Meanie, forcing the cake to fly in the air, land on Mr. Meanie, and he falls to the ground. I didn't like that.
SPEAKER_06:That's a nice cake. That can be someone's wedding cake. Like, why are you had to do that to someone's cake? That's the last one.
SPEAKER_03:I think it was crazy when he grabbed the cart, those two old bags were like, ladies, grab your purse. I was like, bitch. No, when they walked in there, and they were like, these kids are up to no good. I was like, thank god none of them were black. Jesus.
SPEAKER_02:One of them's brown, and I'm like, oh. Right. That's what it is.
SPEAKER_03:All right. Right. Two of them are of color.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Non-white people earlier. Um, Mr. Meanie is rendered useless by the cake. And just as he's plummeled by the cake, and walks Mr. Potter, the FBI agent, who was investigating um this case earlier at the beginning of the film. He walks in, he's like, freeze, everyone freeze. NYPD. And he doesn't have his mustache anymore. And he doesn't have his mustache. He took Lexi's advice, he shaved his mustache, and he tells Mr. Meanie, you're under arrest. Yeah, under arrest. And so now, um, what we failed to mention is Lexi narrates this whole film. So Lexi starts to give us a little breakdown. So, Mr. Meanie, oh boy, he sure was mean. Um, he wasn't a detective at all. He was the one who framed um Mr. Walker for the court and pivoted to Miss Stern and Mr. Goldblum. The reason why they were there, and the reason why Miss Stern was at Mr. Walker's apartment, and the reason why Mr. Goldblum was at Miss Dawson's apartment is because Miss Stern was actually interested in Mr. Walker. And when Lexi's article came out, she was jealous and was pissed. And that's why she wanted to talk to Mr. Walker in the hallway. That's why she went to his apartment because she was also in love with him. And Mr. Goldblum was at Miss Dawson's apartment because he too was interested in Miss Dawson. That's why he was at her apartment with flowers, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But when Mr. Goldblum and Miss Stern both realized that neither um Miss Dawson nor Mr. Walker wanted them, they found love and solace in each other. So all as well that ends well for them.
SPEAKER_05:They seem like a cuter couple. I'm not mad at their coupling.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:So they were kind of cute.
SPEAKER_03:Mm-hmm. You know, everyone deserves love.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, I think they I think they both could have done better than Mr. Dawson. I mean, Mrs. Dawson and Mr. Walker.
SPEAKER_01:Mr. Walker's cute. Ms. Dawson, she's a little off.
SPEAKER_04:Cute. Hmm.
SPEAKER_01:He's sweet. He's adorable, I guess. She said cute.
SPEAKER_03:He's pathetic. I can't. I'll give him. I give I give him pity. Yes. I give you that. That's funny. So um all caught up. Okay, so we're all kind of caught up with the city. Homeless man had nothing to do with anything. The homeless man had nothing to do with anything. Um Lexi's dad also emerges in the middle of it. Um, so now that we're all kind of caught up, they're like, okay, Mr. Meanie, you're under arrest. Great. For fraud and embezzlement and stealing. And impersonating a great and impersonating the police officer. So then, however, um, Professor, not Professor, Detective Potter turns to Mr. Walker and he's like, sorry, I gotta arrest you too, also for fraud and embezzlement. And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't have nothing to do with this. I didn't have anything to do with this. Lexi, being the sleuth that she is, she's like, oh, she turns to Mrs. Petrovsky and she's like, Mitchis Petrovsky, where did you get that hideous, I mean gorgeous, um, bumblebee brooch? And the detective is like, um, Lexi, this isn't the time or the place um for this right now. I'm trying to arrest these two people. And she's like, hold on, there's a point to this. And Miss Petrovsky, um, she goes down memory lane. She's like, oh my god, this whole thing. Um, I think I got it when Reagan was still president, president. She's like, actually, you know what? It was back in the 80s. I was going to actually have lunch with my son. I was sitting in the lobby and I was waiting for him to wrap up a meeting. Found this brown paper bag on the floor next to my feet, opened it up, and I saw the brooch. Um, thought it was beautiful, thought it was stunning, didn't know who it was for, went to my son, asked him if he knew. He was like, No, I have no idea who that brooch would be for. And, you know, I thought about returning it. I was gonna look for the owner, but the next day my son had to get out of Dodge because he was framed for fraud and embezzlement. And Lexi, after, you know, get receiving that story, she's like, oh my goodness, I know exactly what this is. This is a Tiffany encrusted Cartier brooch that's only made in Mary Diamonds by the blood of children. This is a blood diamond that's worth approximately$10 million. So what had happened was, okay, let's reverse. So when Mr. Petrovsky, when Nick Petrovsky, Mr. Walker, was working for the firm and$10 million was dumped in an offshore account under his name. And when he was gonna go to the police and inform them that$10 million had been created in an offshore account in his name, but right before he was about to go do that, the money was taken out. The money was taken out by Mr. Meanie, and he bought this brooch that was worth$10 million with the$10 million to hide it, to hide the money. Hide it, to hide the money. And he left it, dumbass, somehow dropped it in a fucking paper. In a paper bag, and Mr. Petrovsky had it this whole time. And Mr. Meanie always thought that Mr. Walker always had it. And Mr. Walker never knew that he had it. He was like, oh yeah.
SPEAKER_05:And he's really an idiot.
SPEAKER_03:And he thought he stole it from him. He's like, oh no, my mom just had it. She thought it was just a brooch. So when Mr. Meanie was like, oh, talking to Mr. Walker, Mr. Walker was like, oh, I'll give you half.
unknown:Mr.
SPEAKER_03:Meanie was like, half. Nigga, it's a diamond. You can't give me half of a diamond.
SPEAKER_06:Stop playing my football. Stop playing.
SPEAKER_03:Give me my shit. So fast forward, that's where we are now. So great hurrah. Mr. Walker is exonerated. Mr. Mooney should go to jail for faking his death and impersonating a dead person. But we'll let it go. Whatever. So, yes, all's well as ends well. The next newspaper article we see is no substitute for missing teacher.
SPEAKER_02:And there's a picture of Mr. Walker and the whole gang, and they're happy that Mr. Walker's not in jail. Lexi meets with Miss Dawson, and Miss Dawson tells her, Thank you. Me and me and Mr. Walker want to say thank you for, you know, having him pronounce as a free man. He's doing great.
SPEAKER_03:And then she's like, You should be a journalist, and then we should have your dad speak at Teacher's Day, career day, it doesn't really matter. And she's like, Oh, so I have to leave now, Ms. Dawson. I because Mr. Walker wants to ask me something.
SPEAKER_05:And then Lexi's like, because earlier he was like, I would love to marry her.
SPEAKER_02:And then obviously, if a guy says, I want to ask you something, you have to come here and dress nice and put your nails on, obviously, he's gonna ask you to marry him.
SPEAKER_07:Cut to Mr.
SPEAKER_03:Walker and Mrs. Dawson's wedding. They were walking out of the church thing looked ridiculous. Her outfits were terrible. They should have asked for. He had on like a top hat.
SPEAKER_02:In in the cane.
SPEAKER_03:It was cute. I kind of liked her dress. She had no makeup on.
SPEAKER_05:It didn't fit her. It was like I could tell y'all that y'all just found a dress from the thrift store and just do it on her.
SPEAKER_03:From the dumpsters. Yeah, from the dumpster. Y'all didn't really I think they this they spent the fashion budget on the kids, which are not. Of course. Of course. Um so they're at so Jack, Lexi, Jen, and Gabe are all at the wedding. They're happy to be there in attendance. Um at one point, Jack and Lexi share a moment and um Lexi gifts Jack some bowling shoes because early in the movie she found he found she found out that he's really into bowling, even though she's never bowled and she thinks it's gross that you wear people's shoes, but he doesn't because he's professional. But she gives him some bowling shoes.
SPEAKER_00:Probably Prada.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, they're probably Prada. And like at the end of it, this whole time, um, Lexi was like complaining how about gross it is to be, you know, like a poor person. And Jen is like, ew, I don't want to go bowling. This we have to wear other people's shoes. And at the end of it, Lexi's like, that's so weird. You think your feet are too good for people? It's like she's changed now. Now she now he's opened up a world to a whole new Brooklyn person. And she's like into she's like, it's not gross. It's just shoes. You think your feet are too good? Jen never changed. And now she's acting like she, like, bitch, you we were on the same page two weeks ago. Don't act like she changed for a guy. Right.
SPEAKER_02:But um the the four of them walk off into the the streets of New York. I think they're gonna be great friends. I'm assuming Jan, um Jen and Gay were gonna date Jack and Lexi's gonna date until she realizes she doesn't want to be with a poor person.
SPEAKER_03:No, no, no, no, no. He's going to break up with her. He's gonna be jealous of her money. Which one? So much the money is gonna be a problem. It's gonna be the m it's gonna be her lack of like awareness and like her uppity and just like he's never he's never gonna feel adequate and feel like he can fit in with her money, but then also he's gonna be tired and exhausted of how like self-involved and like money obsessed, but not money obsessed, but you know, status and wealth obsessed she is. He's not gonna be into that, and then he's gonna cheat on her. That's what he's gonna cheat on her. What Jennifer from across the street. He's not gonna be man enough to break up with her, though. He's gonna cheat on her.
SPEAKER_05:That's how that's gonna How do you feel about all the spy gadgets in the movie?
SPEAKER_06:I think it was very our time.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, yeah. Who doesn't?
SPEAKER_06:When we were younger, I feel like being a spy was so cool. Like one used to have That's all I wanted in life. It's like the little spy kids.
SPEAKER_03:Spike's agent Cody Banks. Why were they why were they throwing the life, the lifestyle of a spy down our throat? No, I couldn't while we couldn't have it. I know. But if the kids have it nowadays, because it's so funny, like they really used to push being a spy on us. Right. They really, but it was like, yeah, that was fun. Totally spies, fucking spy kids, all the spies. Yeah, it was like let's be a spirit. What are the kids nowadays?
SPEAKER_04:So what do you think? Well, that's what I'm gonna question. What do you think about the movie?
SPEAKER_05:A lot of holes, a lot of plot holes.
SPEAKER_03:Um can you expect? When I was watching it, I was like, uh I was like, uh, this movie's uh it's for the nostalgia.
SPEAKER_02:I don't remember it being this stupid.
SPEAKER_03:I don't remember it being this stupid either. I was like, god damn it. Our our young, undeveloped frontal lobe brains But I you know what I think really ruins it is the whole homeless guy plot. That was so ridiculous. Because what did it have to do with anything? I think that man came over there and said, I wore this jacket because a man gave it to me off my back. Okay, yeah. I was like, is this this is really this is where y'all really lost me. And I was just like, there's no turning back, guys. Yeah. I couldn't believe that had nothing to do with nothing. Nothing to do with anything.
SPEAKER_02:And I really need to find what was Mrs. Stern's alternative ending. I wonder if that was more interesting.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. We gotta find the DVD. I know I haven't I've looked I've raided all the damn goodwills in the tri-state area. I need to go to the freaking the other ones.
SPEAKER_04:Gotta go to Bunzuck. Yeah, go to one.
SPEAKER_03:I need to start looking in Bay Rudge.
SPEAKER_01:You need to go. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:But if they know that it's covered in information, they'll sell it to me. But all in all, um even if it's a VHS, you gotta pick it up you gotta pick up the VHS. Oh, even if it's a VHS, okay.
SPEAKER_03:Girl, if you see America Nashley Olsen DVD, um VHS and you won't pick that shit up, I kill your ass. I kill you then. We have to buy something to watch it. That's quite alright. Yeah.
unknown:Hopefully.
SPEAKER_03:We would be very easy to buy a VHS machine. We probably got one in this house somewhere.
SPEAKER_06:I think we do. Oh my god, that'd be so fun to operate a VHS. It's been so long. Press the rewind button.
SPEAKER_03:Put that shit on the floor. Wait for the click. Right. Oh bring back.
SPEAKER_06:I feel like it would bring back muscle memory.
SPEAKER_03:Probably. Now your ass need to go look for something.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, we'll see. That's so funny. Okay, shout out to Lindsay Lohan and um, what you'll call it? A queen. Uh, what's her name? She's married to Macaulay Colbrand. Brenda.
SPEAKER_03:Brenda Song, which is so funny because we just did Home Alone and now we're doing his wife's movie, Brenda Song. Yeah, good old Brenda.
SPEAKER_06:Now we have to find a now we have to bridge another gap. For the next movie. Think about it.
SPEAKER_04:We can't do Little Rascals. That would have been No, how would we bridge this gap? Think about it. Has to be someone's brother, sister, boyfriend, girlfriend. They once dated twice removing.
SPEAKER_03:Because they would have been, because Jack is alfalfa and the little rascals. So we could have done Little Rascals, but we've done that already. And then Mr. Walker, he is the friend of the husband and my big fat Greek wedding. But we've done my big fat wedding. Yeah. So. It's gotta be somewhere else in there. What's Miss Dawson been in? She'd been in something else. What if is is Brenda Songs? What if we could find a movie with we could do stuck in the suburbs?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Or give me someone like they dated or had a movie with.
SPEAKER_04:Like movie stuff. They need to be connected somehow. We'll figure it out.
SPEAKER_07:Whatever.
SPEAKER_04:That might be not.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, well, it's been real. It's been fun. It's been real fun.
SPEAKER_03:Goodbye, people. Bye, everyone.